i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
