Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You need Xanax blowdarts
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
