Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
