I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
