If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
