Sponge bath it is.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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