Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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