I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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