your thong is hanging out like whoa
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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