After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I think my vagina is haunted
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
only if we run a train.
done.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
