Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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