I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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