i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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