i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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