Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can't trust your balls anymore.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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