i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
