I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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