There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
