was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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