Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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