he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
