we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
