you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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