Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool