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We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
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