when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.