went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?