Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.