That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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