My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize