She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
