did you get engaged???
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
