weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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