he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
