Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
