So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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