She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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