i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
