Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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