What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize