It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
