Someone shit on the floor
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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