im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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