Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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