No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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