Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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