We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am never drinking with the goths again.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
