i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
