just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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