I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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