You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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