Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
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So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
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I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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