Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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