I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
