I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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