yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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