I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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