so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize