bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I deserve this hangover.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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