Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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