either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
