He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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